No Sure Things


I love a sure thing. Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance and all that…

Oh, I know it’s not realistic, but somehow it slips in with how I think things should go with my kids.

My oldest son was born with a congenital colon disease. It landed him in the hospital on more occasions than I can count with surgeries in the double digits well before he entered kindergarten.

Our youngest son was born a few months before his brother’s 4th birthday. And to a mother that was sure she could parent anyone with ease since she’d mastered living in Wolfson Children’s Hospital, insurance company debacles, IV’s at home and still had a child that said “yes ma’am”, sang Amazing Grace and wore smocked John Johns.

Wrong! There are no sure things in parenting.

I learned very quickly the mom that my first child needed was not the mom my second needed. I had absolutely no idea how to be LB’s mom. And I needed to figure it out!

I watched and learned. He showed me what he needed and we got to know each other. It took time and it took a lot of it. A few years later a book came my way – The 5 Love Languages. Gary Chapman has written a series of books entitled the 5 Love Languages and yes, there is one written specifically for children’s love languages. It helped me understand how my children received love so that I could build a trust-saturated relationship.

Jesus was approached with every kind of illness and injustice, heartache and indignation and he answered each in a way that was unique.

To the lame He said “Get up and walk”; He said “Stretch out your hand;” He said “Your sins are forgiven.” He knew the precise response for each of these because He knew God’s response. Jesus walked the earth as a man empowered by the Holy Spirit to show the great love the Father has for His children.

That is our model as we parent our children.

Jesus knows what you need and He knows what your children need. He knows it perfectly. And He wants give it to you.

That mess you’ve been asking to get cleaned for the past 30 minutes may need a firm “Get up and walk to your room. Right Now.” It may need “Show me your hand and I can show you how we can pick up your things.” It may need “I’m sorry you feel sad for your choice. I forgive you. Let me help you make it better.”

We aren’t going to have one perfect answer to fit every situation.

Our relationship with God will allow us to hear His voice as we parent His children.

Our Father is the sure thing, not our kids.